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“I remember a time,” he spoke, “a time long ago after the destruction of my world, when the essences encased me in rock and overwhelmed my mind. I wished to die every moment until the meteor crashed to your planet. My people, my planet was gone and I knew I would die for nothing. My sacrifice was one forced upon me. Yours is much different. You die for a cause. But I still know what happens inside you. Your soul is torn by a million souls, souls older than any mortal’s. They are slowly consuming you. There is no escape.”
Voices whispered in the back of her mind. “Only you could possibly imagine. I didn’t understand that until you said it.”
Ineal’s fingers curled and closed. “Do not forget what you fight for in these final days. If the essences tempt you or discourage you, rebuke them.” He pointed out the window to the stars. “Look out there. You save a galaxy, a universe. I will tell every being I meet what you have done for them.”
“You rescued us when we needed you,” Julieth reminded him.
“I was but a shell. You rescued me.” Ineal turned, walking from the illumination of the one chamber light. The darkness consumed him. Julieth heard the chamber door whoosh open and close.
She was alone in the silence, alone except for the voices whispering through her mind.
After hours of trying to remain awake, she fell to sleep.
In her sleep the voices found her.
Chapter 12
Julieth’s Dream
She stood in a field of swaying grass, her wings outstretched, all alone. The breeze was gentle, comforting, except for the shivers it sent over her body. Where am I? She had fallen asleep on the starship, hadn’t she? Light was everywhere and yet she could not see a sun. Julieth reached down, moving the palms of her hands over the swaying blades of grass. She imagined large yellow flowers in the distance and to her surprise they bloomed before her. She imagined water. A stream appeared by her feet. “How strange…” She knelt down, cupping her hands in the stream and bringing them up, almost to her lips. Light refracted in ribbons through the water.
“Isn’t it fantastic, the control you can have of the world around you?”
The voice startled her. She turned to see a handsome man with deep eyes, smiling.
The man touched his chin. “Drink. Don’t let me stop you. It always amazes me what mortals choose to do with power. Some wish for kingdoms and others for water. There are such differences between your souls. But you would still enjoy a kingdom as well, wouldn’t you?”
His voice was warm and calming, but it struck fear in her.
Julieth looked to the water in her hands. She opened them and let it fall around her legs. “Who are you?”
“Does it matter?” The man walked to her, reaching for her hand. She wanted to resist but could not. The touch of his hand was solid. “You know who I am… what I am. I am the first.”
“The first essence,” she spoke calmly.
“Yes, and I can give you everything. You can live in a land of beauty and peace with the man, Ivanus. You can be the ruler of kingdoms with infinite food to nourish them. You can live forever without growing old.”
It sounded so good. This offering sang through her. “How?” she asked.
“You mortals, always with your questions.” He touched a finger to her cheek. “Can’t you just accept the gifts?”
Julieth saw a noir spark in his eyes. She broke from the trance and stepped back. “At what cost?”
“No cost,” the man stared blankly. “You would only need to bond completely with me and all my brethren and anything you desire can be yours. You have such a good soul. Surely you would not misuse your power. You can forge us in your image.”
Julieth lifted to the air, hovering just above him. “I saw what became of Bayne when you tempted him. I have no desire to be corrupted in that way.”
“We can rebuild worlds together. Think of the good that we can do.” The man’s eyes were now completely black. The blackness spread like sunlight around his eyes. “Come to me, woman. Join with me and you can have all you desire.”
Julieth beat her wings, rising high above him. “Never! I will destroy you!”
The calm, beautiful field of grass withered and died, turning brown and then crumpling, moving as dust in the wind. The earth split, making thunderous noise as it divided. The sky was a hot blood-red. Muggy heat swam over her, weighing her down.
The man rose into the air, weightless. Heat ribbons moved over his form. “You?” he laughed. “You cannot harm us. One mortal cannot destroy the souls of planets. We will consume you and all there is. You are a grain of sand and we are the ocean.”
“A grain of sand?” Julieth stared, beating her wings. “Beaten and worn down over the years until I am in my hardest, purest form. I will destroy you. Without the sand the ocean has no form. You are nothing without souls to devour.”
BOOM! A crack of lightning struck in the distance.
Julieth did not flinch. “And with enough heat even the ocean burns. I don’t fear you, because I know your weakness. And I know you are trapped in my mind, not the other way around. This,” she spread her arms wide, “is my mind’s construct. I simply have to force my will to control it.”
The sky turned blue.
A stream of water returned to the land.
Yellow, pink and purple flowers bloomed as the field of grass returned.
The man fell, hitting a patch of grass. His body disappeared and he was gone.
Julieth stared at her hands. This is not real, none of it, but I now know I am in control. She dove down, landing and dipping her hands in the cool stream. Water trickled down her arms as she brought it to her lips. It refreshed her.
She had control of the darkness within her. She closed her eyes, ready to face the universe beyond.
Chapter 13
Two days later
When she opened her eyes, Riad stood before her, the cybernetics of his eye gleaming with light. “It is time. You slept for days. We are as close as the ship can come to the sun and withstand the heat.”
Julieth stood, realizing that the shield that had contained her was gone. Ineal, Cross and some of the crew were also nearby. “Where is Ivanus?”
“He refuses to say goodbye. He will not accept your sacrifice.” Riad placed a hand on her shoulder. “You do what must be done. He will come to accept that.”
“Watch over him and Bayne for me.”
Riad nodded. “As if they were my own kin.”
Ineal embraced her, holding her tightly in his arms. There was very little emotion on his face but she knew the depth of his understanding and care.
Cross walked toward her. “You will not wear a suit. It would be too restricting and would melt to your form long before you reach the sun.”
“Then how will I breathe? We can’t breathe the atmosphere out there, can we?” She was exhausted and in aching pain, from what containing the essences was doing to her body.
“We have a pill.” Cross held out his hand. As he opened his fingers a pink pill rolled in his palm. “This will allow you to live on the atmosphere’s chemical makeup for a short time, long enough to achieve your goal. You will die, but this pill will allow you to move freely without constraints.”
Julieth stretched her wings, feeling every tense muscle within them. She could scour the ship for Ivanus or go to give Bayne one final kiss, but every moment she existed layered more constant pain upon her. She remembered seeing the man bonded with an essence melting in anguish until he was nothing. The only thing keeping me alive now is the good essence. She looked to Riad, knowing his hardened façade would give her the strength to solidify her resolve. “I need to go now, before the essences overcome me. How do I go?”
Cross directed her to a pressurized hatch leading to the beyond.
WHOOSH! The door swept open before her. She gave Ineal one last hug before stepping inside.
She stepped through several more pressurized hatches as they were opened for her until she was finally i
n the last space, just a sheet of clear shielding between her and the void. She placed the pink pill in her mouth. It was bitter as she swallowed.
It was dark, almost completely black. Her part of the ship faced away from the sun and she was thankful for it. “Life is so cruel.” Tears raced down her eyes, dripping on the cell floor. “Love is a moment in Darkness’ consumption.” She held her hand to the shield. Somehow her hand was blacker than space beyond. In the end even Ivanus was not there for her. She counted the stars, knowing there were billions. A gaseous purple constellation was minute but beautiful in the distance. I will be a part of you soon, or perhaps beyond. Sudden pain speared through her and she staggered back, falling and thrashing the metal ground sideways. The boom echoed. She couldn’t breathe. She was suffocating on air. Julieth clawed her way to the final hatch, scratching it with her hands as she yearned for the void, knowing she could breathe the darkness. Far away, as if slipping through her fingers, a shooting star sped by.
Darkness overwhelmed her.
The dim light of the star was all she could see in her blurring vision.
The airlock unsealed, vacuuming Julieth into outer space, belching her from the cold ship that was never her own.
She spun freely, weightless and choking. Nausea pulsed through her stomach as she breathed in the nothingness.
Her breath steadied.
Julieth watched as the starship moved. Sunlight cut in all directions around the ship’s form, radiant and all-encompassing. Then the ship completely moved from being between her and the sun and she was blinded by light.
She drifted, eyes closed, heat swarming over her.
It was so hot.
How would she make it to the sun without sight? Then, in the obliterating light beyond her eyelids, she made out the orb of the sun. Fly, Julieth, fly.
She beat her wings. They moved more freely than ever without air to hold them back. Julieth could not feel herself move in the nothing but knew the sun was closer and closer.
Hours passed.
She could hear explosions from within the sun.
Heat. Sweltering, raw, life sucking heat drained her.
Flight continued.
Time. What was time?
Julieth breathed hard, her chest heaving. She stopped moving her wings, knowing she continued to move but needing a break from her intent flight. She spun, turning away from the sun and opened her eyes. The ship was gone.
Space. Unending space.
She held her hands out and noticed… her dried skin flecking off of her body into the nothing. It drifted away gently, curling in the heat of the sun. She did not feel it leave her. Her arms and hands were dried and cracked completely. She could feel her wings turning brittle. What must they look like?
Crack! A hollow bone in one of her wings snapped. Pain stabbed through her.
Only the essences keep me alive. She held her hands together as Ivanus did when he talked to his God. She closed her eyes. “Watch over me. Help me to have strength beyond strength. I do not care about pain. Give it to me to save the universe, to destroy these things within me. Feed me to the sun.”
She opened her eyes. In the corner of her sight, far away but circling toward the side of the sun was the starship. At least I see you one last time. She thought of Ivanus. I am dead. Live your life. Love again. As she watched the ship, her body turned. She faced the sun. Somehow she could witness it now without closing her eyes. Perhaps it was the essences. Julieth was resolved in whatever came. Fire boiled and spat from the orb, gasses exploding from its body.
As she floated there, a speck in eternity, she noticed something written amongst the charred flesh of her arm. It was a lighter ink than the cracked ash coating her body. “God saves. Turn to faith,” she read aloud. Reading the words calmed her soul. She knew Ivanus had put them there. She thought of him for a moment, his deep eyes and his charm. Then, as one of her wings curled into her vision, she saw its feathers ignited red, curling and melting in the heat. Whatever oxygen was trapped in her wings’ bones, popped and cracked with flame.
The sun loomed, a molten beast calling her to destiny. Now is the time, before I die. Pain pulsed through Julieth as her wings popped, snapping and breaking off into the atmosphere. She moved what remained of her wings quickly, flying toward the burning orb.
God saves. Turn to faith.
She forced herself to ignore all heat and pain.
God saves. Turn to faith.
She moved. Her eyelashes melted to her eyelids, not allowing her eyes to close. Her fingernails broke off, no longer attached to her body because of her charred flesh.
God saves. Turn to faith.
Time passed.
Hours.
Minutes.
Seconds.
Julieth was a broken hull, spinning freely toward the sun. It pulsed, beckoning her. Her skin burned slowly. Her wings crackled, pieces breaking off and floating toward the sun, burning up before her.
God saves. Turn to faith. I die now. Everything ceases. Ivanus… God… What is God? Where is God now? I am alone.
Then there was release. A flood of essences fled her form, auras of every color streaking from her body toward the sun, pink, blue, purple, red, all being sucked into the flames. There were no screams, only beauty and silence, but somehow Julieth knew she had succeeded. The essences were no more. The remainder of her wings detached from her back, spinning away from her and exploding before hitting the sun’s surface.
Her body burned rapidly without the essences to protect her.
She was being sucked toward the blistering sun.
Her vision was dimming, fading to black. Then, out of the side of her vision, a person in a spacesuit pummeled into her. Her back cracked as they collided.
The two moved quickly away from the orb. Her face was pressed against the faceplate. The spacesuit was melting, melding to the person’s form. Julieth’s heart thundered in her chest as she realized it was Ivanus. His skin was splitting and his eyes were crimson. His features were frozen in place as the faceplate melted closer and closer to his skin.
Space was a blur. Ivanus’ face looked dead. He had saved her, at least from the sun, but what of the void?
Julieth’s heart beat rapidly, burning in her chest. She tried to breathe but choked, suffocating on the atmosphere and needing air. Her body heaved, convulsing, and then going ridged.
Her mind went black.
A flat ringing noise resonated in her mind.
Hours passed.
Starship Expanse 1’s hull blocked the sun’s light as it slowed beside the drifting bodies. They were clutched in embrace, silent and unmoving. Lights blinked along the ship. Nothing happened for long moments.
One of the starship’s pressure hatches swept open and two men in spacesuits drifted out. Cables tethered them to the ship. Riad came to the stasis couple first, looking at their faces, so close and yet separated by Ivanus’ faceplate. Riad watched Julieth’s neck. “Somehow her heart is beating. We need to get her inside.”
“And Ivanus?” Cross asked as Riad wrapped a cable around the two.
“Dead most likely. His face is motionless.” Riad hooked a cord up to Ivanus’ suit to measure vitals. “I’m getting no trace.”
Cross pulled them toward the ship.
Chapter 14
Echoes everywhere. Darkness. It felt like there was a great body of liquid all around. Noise bounced off Julieth’s ears from all directions.
Where am I? Am I dead?
A red light blinked melodically. Pressure dissipated. Echoes silenced. The light turned blue.
Kssssshhh. A seal unlocked before her, an egg-shaped door gliding open to reveal a dark room with one single blinking light in the center. She was in a bedlike pod.
Her muscles ached, throbbing as she moved her arms. She stepped out of the chamber onto cold metal floor. An overhead light slowly illuminated the room. Julieth breathed deeply, aware that she was breathing air. Somehow she was alive. She held her hands
before her. Her skin was smooth, without markings from the essences. Her fingers were fully there. She reached behind her to feel her back. It was entirely smooth with only a small ridge where her wings had once been.
She looked around the room. It was pristine. Technological equipment lined the walls and buttons flashed in sequences. There was a robe hanging beside the egg-shaped capsule she stepped from. Julieth pulled the robe on, wrapping it around her body and enjoying its soft warmth.
A faint conversation carried from the hall beyond the room and then was gone. She looked around the room. Her mind was foggy. This is a spacecraft, she realized. Someone laughed and then their voice was gone. She walked toward where the laugh had come, tracing her fingers on the grooved metallic walls.
A warm, rich scent filled her nose, making her mouth water. Deep hunger swept through her. How long had it been since she’d eaten?
A large room with a table opened to her side. She walked to the table, eying a brown thing sitting on a plate. She sniffed, breathing in the delicious scent. It was warm and soft to the touch. Is this food? She broke off a piece and placed it in her mouth. It was rich and delicious. She embraced its taste. After eating several more bites she noticed a window in the room leading to the cosmos. She walked to it, placing a hand on the chilled glass. The sun is so far away. Her heart pounded in her chest, making her stomach tense. What happened to Ivanus? Is he dead?
A vast, curved wing stretched from the ship’s edge. Colored sunlight refracted off of it. The room was eerily silent. There were no voices. Julieth turned from the room and food, running down the hallway toward where the voices had come until she saw a doorway before her. Two doors with the insignia of a bird stood between her and whatever was beyond.
She breathed deeply, walking steadily toward them. They opened automatically when she neared.
A wide window leading to the cosmos was before her and several men in chairs looking in that direction.
“Julieth!” Ivanus called to her as he turned to look. The snoot scrambled across the floor and then leapt at her, running to perch on her shoulder and then nuzzling her neck.